What makes a day 2 out of 10?
There is some mobility – the whole day is not spent in bed. There is will and energy enough for a shower; sometimes it does not stretch to using shower gel or shampoo. Atleast there is cleanliness to some extent. That makes it a 2 rather than a 1.
There is also communication. Maybe not straight away, it can take a number of naps to feel a little bit of effort can be made, later in the day. So there are small interactions with people at home, a smile here and there, a few words. That makes it a 2 rather than a 1.
There is also effort enough to pray. Not 5 times, maybe two or three. These are not the best quality of prayers, but they are there. They may be read sitting down, all movements very slow and drawn out. The presence of prayers makes it a 2 out of ten.
It is difficult to concentrate on much else in a day that is as low as a 2. So emails or studying is ……like stuff that happens in the best of dreams. It doesn’t happen. Concentration is difficult. It is procrastinating maybe. A vicious circle. All the tasks undone come up at night time so that sleep stays away. Like now. Despite melatonin. Zopiclone is very good though; a wonderful feeling of a heavy head and sleep with no thoughts of work or incomplete tasks or anxiety. A side effect is strange dreams; not happy ones.
So what now?